bitchy | Pete Hegseth: ‘Nobody’s texting war plans. I know exactly what I’m doing’

On Monday, The Atlantic’s editor-in-chief revealed that Donald Trump’s national security team accidentally added him to their Signal war-plan groupchat. People keep saying variations of “can you believe how stupid these people are?” Yes, I can, because I REMEMBER THE FIRST TRUMP TERM. It was extremely stupid, but millions of people apparently “forgot” the absolute f–king clownshow that comes with all things Donald Trump.

Anyway, this has become an unfolding catastrophe in a million ways. First off, national security officials aren’t supposed to discuss war-plans on Signal, they work for the government and they’re supposed to use secure, government comms channels. But her emails, remember? As it turns out, one of the guys in the groupchat – Steve Witkoff – was talking about war plans in Signal as he was in Moscow, meeting Putin. Meanwhile, everyone has settled on Trump’s National Security Advisor Mike Waltz as the one to blame for this screwup. Waltz was, after all, the one who started the groupchat and the one who added The Atlantic’s EIC. Waltz is also taking the blame for it publicly… even if Donald Trump wants everyone to blame an unnamed staffer.

The Trump administration may one day settle on a version of events regarding how a journalist got included in a Signal group chat about striking Houthis in Yemen, but Tuesday was not that day. White House National Security Adviser Mike Waltz, during a Fox News interview, took responsibility for the “embarrassing” error, while suggesting that The Atlantic Editor-in-Chief Jeffrey Goldberg could have somehow schemed his way into the chat. Goldberg reported that Waltz himself invited Goldberg to it.

Waltz said, “We’re going to get to the bottom of it,” leaving much uncertain. But one thing he said did not happen was a staffer introducing Goldberg into the group.

“A staffer wasn’t responsible, and I take full responsibility,” he told Laura Ingraham. “I built the group. My job is to make sure everything is coordinated.”

Ingraham followed up moments later, “So, a staffer did not put [in] his contact information?”

“No, no, no,” Waltz said. “Of course not.”

Not so, according to Donald Trump. Just an hour later, in a pre-taped interview on Newsmax’s Greg Kelly Reports, Trump pointed the finger at a Waltz staffer.

“What it was, we believe, is somebody that was on the line with permission—somebody that was with Mike Waltz, worked for Mike Waltz at a lower level—had, I guess, Goldberg’s number, or called through the app, and somehow this guy ended up on the call,” Trump said. The method of communication was a group text, not a call.

“Now, it wasn’t classified, as I understand it,” Trump continued. “There was no classified information. There was no problem, and the attack was a tremendous success. So I can only go by what I’ve been told. I wasn’t involved in it, but I was told by—and the other people weren’t involved at all. But I feel very comfortable, actually.”

Trump’s comments echoed those from an earlier appearance before reporters, claiming “I don’t think he [Waltz] should apologize. I think he is doing his best. It’s equipment and technology that’s not perfect and probably he won’t be using it again, at least not in the near future.”

Tuesday’s mix-up hasn’t been the only instance of the administration not getting its story straight. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, who was also part of the group chat, on Monday denied texting about war plans, even though the White House National Security Council had confirmed the chat’s authenticity hours earlier. Hegseth appeared before the media again on Tuesday night at a briefing in Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii, again denying his involvement. “Nobody’s texting war plans. I know exactly what I’m doing,” he said.

I know this is all very serious but I’m laughing my ass off at “Nobody’s texting war plans. I know exactly what I’m doing.” Perfect response after you’ve literally been caught texting war plans and it has been revealed that you have no idea what you’re doing. Anyway, the only reason why Trump hasn’t asked anyone to resign over this is because he has no idea how groupchats work and he also doesn’t give a sh-t what his staff are doing on any given day.

Update: The Atlantic just published the complete transcript of the war-plan groupchat.

You can now read the group chat for yourselves, here: https://t.co/KrTDd6y3lJ

— Yoni Appelbaum (@YAppelbaum) March 26, 2025

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.