Multiple Partners, Equal Joy: Myth of Monogamy Superiority Debunked in New Research

The notion that traditional one-partner relationships lead to happier love lives has been challenged by a major new study that found people in consensually non–monogamous relationships report being just as satisfied with their relationships and sex lives as those who are exclusive with one partner.

The groundbreaking meta-analysis, published March 26 in The Journal of Sex Research, examined data from 35 studies involving nearly 25,000 people across the United States, Canada, Australia, and several European countries. Researchers found no significant differences in satisfaction levels between those who choose monogamy and those who engage in various forms of consensual non-monogamy.

“Monogamous relationships are often assumed to offer greater satisfaction, intimacy, commitment, passion and trust than non-monogamous ones. This widespread belief – what we term as the ‘monogamy-superiority myth’ – is often reinforced by stereotypes and media narratives,” said lead author Joel Anderson, an Associate Professor and Principal Research Fellow at the Australian Research Centre in Sexuality, Health, and Society at La Trobe University.

The findings come at a time when alternative relationship structures are gaining visibility, though they remain stigmatized in many circles. While monogamy continues to be the predominant relationship model in Western societies, the study noted that approximately 5% of adults identify as being in non-monogamous relationships, with roughly 20% having experienced some form of non-monogamy at some point in their lives.

Non-monogamy encompasses various consensual arrangements where all parties involved are aware and agreeing to the relationship structure. These include polyamory (having multiple loving relationships), open relationships (maintaining romantic exclusivity but allowing sexual connections with others), and “monogamish” relationships (generally monogamous with occasional agreed-upon exceptions).

Notably, the research team found that these satisfaction levels remained consistent regardless of demographic factors. Both LGBTQ+ and heterosexual participants showed similar patterns, challenging any notion that relationship structure preferences are tied to sexual orientation.

The researchers speculate that one reason for comparable satisfaction levels might relate to infidelity. “Our theory as to why these findings have occurred, perhaps, is down to what we’d argue is the most common issues in relationships – and certainly the most common factor in relationship breakdown – infidelity,” Anderson explained. “People in non-monogamous relationships often have agreements with their partner/s which mean infidelity isn’t a relevant factor in their relationships, whereas it is naturally heartbreaking experience for those in monogamous relationships.”

When examining specific aspects of relationship satisfaction, the researchers found those in non-monogamous relationships actually reported higher levels of trust than their monogamous counterparts. This runs counter to common assumptions that exclusivity is necessary for trust to flourish between partners.

The study also found interesting variations within different types of non-monogamous relationships. People in “monogamish” relationships reported slightly higher relationship satisfaction than those in monogamous relationships, while those in polyamorous and swinging arrangements reported higher sexual satisfaction.

Despite these positive findings, non-monogamous individuals continue to face significant social challenges. Previous research has shown that approximately 25% of polyamorous individuals have experienced prejudice based on their relationship orientation. Many healthcare practitioners also view non-monogamy as a sign of emotional distress rather than a valid relationship choice.

“What we see is that those non-monogamous relationships have great relationships and great sex, in spite of the fact that their relationships come under scrutiny in most societies, and in spite of the fact that they experience differential or even prejudiced treatment because of their relationships structures, which are viewed as out of the norm,” Anderson noted.

The findings have significant implications for therapists, healthcare providers, and policymakers who may currently approach relationship issues with an unconscious bias toward monogamy as the ideal. The researchers suggest that professionals should recognize and support diverse relationship structures rather than assuming monogamy as the default model.

As our understanding of relationships continues to evolve, this research challenges us to question long-held assumptions about what makes for fulfilling romantic and sexual connections in the twenty-first century.