Trans woman says she became her true self after cancer diagnosis

Eight years ago, Paula Griffin was told she had cancer of the bladder. The diagnosis led to her finally accepting that she was a trans woman.

Paula recalls that, at the time of her diagnosis, she was “in denial” about her symptoms, which included blood in her urine. “I was two weeks away from major organ failure because of cancer,” she tells PinkNews. 

According to Cancer Research UK, there are about 10,500 new bladder cancer cases in the UK every year.

Paula went on to have surgery, including the insertion of a stoma and the creation of an artificial bladder, also known as a neo-bladder, using a portion of her small intestine. On the same morning, her older sister, Kerry, died of colorectal cancer.

Despite her illness being the catalyst, Paula says she has always known she was trans.

“I just never had the courage to do anything about it,” she says, adding when she was younger she had a “major breakdown” which led her return to her home in Cornwall, where her mother introduced her to a friend who was transgender.

But, after returning to London, she re-entered the “toxic masculine” environment of working in recruitment, leading her to rely heavily on drinking and chain-smoking to numb her desire to live as her authentic self.

“As I was recovering from cancer, I realised that I had to look at the reasons why I got myself into this state,” she goes on to say.

‘I’m doing things I could never believe’

After working on herself, she changed her identity on social media, a move that was accepted by everyone around her. In 2019, she began the transition process.

Being her true self has enabled her to “be more confident [and] cut toxicity out” of her life, and stop smoking. She has found time to be the goalkeeper for a non-binary football club in London – even playing in the Women’s FA Cup, the BBC reported.

“I’m doing things I could never believe. If you learn to turn off your fear switch in life, you can’t be afraid of anything, and I’m not afraid anymore.”

A moment of trans joy was getting her new passport in 2022 and travelling to Peru, where she felt she was treated as herself and included among her fellow travellers.

Court ruling is a hollow victory

Regarding the recent UK Supreme Court ruling, which determined that the legal definition of a woman excludes trans women, she says: “We have the Gender Recognition Act, and we’re still recognised as women.

“It’s tough as a trans woman, as trans people, but until it changes what I do in my every-day life, they can claim their victory but to me it’s a hollow victory because I’m still going to live as me. It’s created more problems than it’s going to solve.

“I’ve always tried to be positive and I’ve had amazing support in my inbox, and I will stand up and be myself. If they want to take me down, they’re going to have to fight. There [are] a lot of people on our side and it’s incredible.”

Paula will take part in Cancer Research UK’s Race for Life, in partnership with Standard Life, in London’s Hyde Park on 27 July. She will run in memory of her sister and to show that “the more we support research, the more we can show that cancer is not a death sentence and can be a second chance at life”.

You can enter Cancer Research UK’s Race for Life here.

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